Photo: “paint paradise and put up a parking lot”
August 4th (2009) Day 26
Zero Day. My goal now is to add my feelings and emotions to this now. I went back and read what was my first entry. The informational stuff is nice but the emotions are that much more interesting. So this will be Facts, feelings and the following of J.T.B. “BROTUCKY’s” 2000 mile adventure of faith.
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Man, what a day. The Pinkhams took us to their dual-monthly Seniors Breakfast at Shelburne, NH town hall. It was a blast. The elderly have such a fun, clean humor. and love for life that us young folk don’t seem to share. It’s a shame. We went to Walmart to do some shopping ( always stresses me out ) and I got a little less food than needed. Trusting in the North-bounders account of the generosity of the NH huts. I had a little trouble w/ my package because my trail name was on it and not my real name, but because my Mother sorted it all out everything was fine. I took another nap today and ate much better (not as fast). Dances with Wolves was on tonight. I can relate to his “Alone” feeling. Not a bad one, but a good one. It;s hard with all my thoughts to know what is right when it comes to love and what to do with my future. There have been instances that send me back to past relationships. Some come with a warm feeling that are rooted in firm foundations, and others seem to pull at every part of me, with a sense of the unknown. One seems simple, and the other a leap of faith. God only knows. There is only a small curiosity of someone new.
The Lord is truly helping me see who He is. It is in my mind all day. I long for what He will show me next. I continue to fight the battle lines that come between me and opening the Bible and praying. Once I’m there I feel filled and before I’m there I now desire it. The bridge between is still a road block. It’s not easy, but more and more I see its worth. It truly interprets what I have seen. My eyes are being opened in a way I never knew. To life, to friendships, to commitments, passions, joys, and to God’s kingdom. It’s all His.
I love this.
I miss school, believe it or not, the day to day routine, the food, how blessed I was, the friends I had, and the community. I strangely haven’t missed youth group yet. The worship and John’s preaching, yes, but not that world. I will soon. I haven’t been away long enough yet plus they are people of God. Their friendship and love I believe will come with me. But I wasn’t as poured into them as I was into my school. Church was a haven. School was life. God molded me there, as He has begun to here.
This entry speaks for itself.